Shoe math or come on: Kanye West By Giuseppe Zanotti “Kanye All Over Beads Sandals”

I don’t even longer know, maybe I AM an old prune. Maybe I am not really gettin’ the whole “it” of shoe fashion, maybe I will soon get the same shocked look from my friends as my mom got from me suggesting that I borrow her 3cm heeled (very middle-aged  looking) pumps for a school disco eternities ago (yes, I had a horizontally challenged feet area already then). Maybe I am losing a sense of (at least in my opinion) good taste.

But, for the in-my-book considerable sum of €4 505, in the choice between this:

Kanye All Over Beads Sandals

OR THIS:

Dolce & Gabbana Crystal-embellished satin pumps

PLUS (nope, not another “or”, plus it is) THIS:

Christian Louboutin Asteroid 140 suede and patent-leather pumps

And what the hell, for the additional €35,  these AS WELL, together with the two abovementioned pairs:

Christian Louboutin Maggie Glitter and Snakeskin Platform Pumps

I know what option I would go for, after giving a long giggle about the most expensive beads in the history of man.

But some good shall come from the first creation as well. If Kanye’s quote   “I’m trying to right my wrongs/ But it’s funny the same wrongs help me write this song,” is true, I think we might have a new album coming out soon. The guy can sing,  we all have to give him that.

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Shoe “no freakin’ idea how to call this one”: Jeffrey Campbell Lita All Over Spike

Bloody hell.

Jeffrey Campbell Lita All Over Spike

Somewhere in another, dark and twisted universe, Pinhead just got a bit dizzy from a serious kick of shoe cravings straight to his head.

 

PS: Knowing the “inspiration” Litas provide and which has been featured in my blog frequently  – Similar product soon in the stores around you! (With a perky, Colgate-commercial voice)

A lot of stores. (Slightly more tired voice, emphasising “a lot”)

 

 

Shoe poetry: Jimmy Choo Hazel Haircalf Platform Wedges

Oh Jimmy Chooo

I love youuuu

But this can’t doooo

 

Jimmy Choo Hazel Platform Wedges

My eyes got a flue

By seeing this shoe

That makes me blue

So off I go for a cookie or two

 

Shoe candy-ish: Yves Saint Laurent “Shield” Loafer Pump

I know that these shoes will be featured on at least a couple of fashion blogs. I know that the posts will have an exclamation point or two because of their “coolness” “cravings” they ’cause or whatever. And honestly, I do find them somehow in an unexplainable way cute and cool at the same time and I do find them kind off possible on somebody else’s feet. I mean you just need to take a look at your shoes to see how your lipstick is holding up a couple of hours into the night:

YSL Shield Loafer Pump

But right now, the only thing I can think about (without putting any kind of value or opinion in it yada yada and fully aware of totally politically incorrect stereotyping (did I cover it all?)) is “every gay musketeer’s wet dream of all footwear”.

If you disagree, Shield loafer pumps can be found at Nordstrom.

Shoe freakin’ fab: Dolce & Gabbana Crystal-embellished Satin Pumps

Unlike this, I would not mind putting my greedy, lusting, shoe-loving fingers on this:

Dolce & Gabbana Crystal-embellished Satin Pumps

Let’s take a look from the other perspective:

Dolce & Gabbana Crystal-embellished Satin Pumps

Holy crap of all magpies. This is one detailed hand back of a shoe. And let’s finish with a picture of the bow, just to see if the perfection remains from a real close-up:

Dolce & Gabbana Crystal-embellished Satin Pumps

Well, yes it does. Fascinated by all the perfect shiny bling, with the eyes of a child on Christmas morning while rushing down the stairs, I start wiping of my chocolate stained fingers to at least touch the screen version of the ultimate shoe perfection.

And the illusion snaps together with the price tag making it into my tunnel vision – £2 646.

Fingers gliding automatically into the cookie box again.

Really people? For something, no matter how beautiful it is and it really really is in this case,that will still be in touch with ground and dirt* on daily basis? What is it made from? Unicorn sprinkled magic dust sewn on by hands of thousands little virgin elves? Seriously, my feet are barely worth that much to me.

* Insert optional adult joke about how these shoes are not for walking but for more pleasurable activities, in the air. And in case you are serious with that, planning to get these shoes out of that only purpose, respect to you, your feet and your vagina.

Shoe fudge: Boutique 9 Doetzen3

Oh Summer where are thou? ‘Cause I have found a really cute friend for the two of us:

I think that we would make an awesome trio, your 20-25 Celsius sunny days, myself and the elegant, fudginess (with a touch of golden bling) of Doetzen.

Maybe I am living in self-denial, but the quite reasonable 10cm heel makes me also believe that my feet will not declare war due to the uncomfort of only two thin straps in front as the contact point between the shoe and a whole lot of my body weight, the pressure which increases significantly with a killer stiletto. In worse case, here we will just experience a minor conflict that will be resolved with a foot massage and a pair of flats.

Shoe shiny fab: Karen Millen Crystal Peep toe pumps

Let’s give a wake-up slap to our inner magpies in the middle of the usual “oh why is it Monday already” weekly life crisis with something shiny and pretty – Karen Millen Crystal Peep toe pumps:

Karen Millen Crystal Peep

Karen Millen Crystal Peep

Classic model, curved edge, 11cm heel and a lot of bling – this is THE shoe you put on when there is some serious “modern Cinderella” time. Thanks to the 3cm hidden platform, there is also a good chance that you will be able to run away at the end of the evening, without leaving one of these babies behind. That would be a real pity considering the price tag of almost £300. It is both easier and cheaper just to hook up with the prince charming next day on Facebook.*

Shoe candy: Kurt Geiger London “Elm”

Let’s start the beginning of a new week with a bit of satisfaction for the universal shoe sweet tooth with a piece or two of Elm:

Kurt Geiger London Elm

Great adult-enough shade of pink, shiny patent leather and app 11cm stiletto heels make this a really cute and sleek shoe candy without “the way too common and every time equally disturbing” Barbie/My Little Pony/daddy issues vibes. The lines of the model as well as the pink strap make this shoe totally wearable both for work and pleasure related occasions, with everything from beige trousers and a white crispy shirt to a flowery dress.

If you prefer a touch of mint for your sweet tooth , except for classic black and silver, there is also the white version (although they seem more pink-sih to me):

Kurt Geiger London Elm

Shoe Look alikes: Tiamo pump and Christian Louboutin Rolando Zipper

I understand that high-street chains follow designer trends, making them available for the broad masses, amongst them myself. I also understand that sometimes, inspiration can be a bit overwhelming, limiting their own creative input into the design.

But really?:

Tiamo Pump

A reminder of the Loubis:

Christian Louboutin Rolando Zipper Pump

Sorry about the artsy fartsy picture (from Jennie Hammar)  but this is an old model and sold out everywhere except for the shi*load of shops selling cheap knock offs.

I know that Christian Louboutin was not allowed to get a patent for the red soles but somehow, seeing them on any other shoe makes me cringe a tiny bit. If it is a great looking shoe otherwise, it seems like the designer lacked the confidence in his/her own design and went for a safe card, just in case. If it looks poorly designed, the impression is lack of originality but “hey, we know what will sell among younger groups, slap on that red sole and we’ll do fine”.

Anyhow, there are a couple of conclusions to be drawn here depending on the starting point:

1. Pure laziness.To the extent of getting inspiration from a model that is a couple of seasons old, not something currently on the market.

2. Not knowing about the above mentioned Loubis. In which case, the person in question should either work for Louboutin&co (considering they seem to think extremely  similar) or not work with shoe design at all. Let’s face it, if you decide to go for the red sole to start with, you should know your homework.

Shoe Loubi Fab: Christian Louboutin Volpi Poppi d’Orsay Pump

Often, being a great shoe designer is not about wild shapes and forms, never before seen creations and removal of essential details of footwear, e.g. heels. Sometimes, it is just about doing the basics, the fundamentals or the current trends a bit better than the majority – something Christian Louboutin masters, as we have seen over and over again through out the years.  Well, here it is again.

Ladies and gents, let me introduce you to  the it-girl of all flowery aspirants of this season’s title:

Christian Louboutin Volpi Poppi d'Orsay Pump

The classical Volpi pump with poppy print fabric – all that is needed to kick-start a wave of shoe cravings.

Worried about the possible clash of colours and the famous red sole? *

Christian Louboutin Volpi Poppi d'Orsay Pump

Looks pretty good to me.

* Of course you don’t. It is a freakin’ Loubi. (Genuine) Red soles never clash.  I just kind of wanted to share the back of the shoe with you as well.